Europe mulls banning 'boxes' for abandoned babies

Europe mulls banning 'boxes' for abandoned babies — German pastor Gabriele Stangl says she will never forget the harrowing confession she heard in 1999. A woman said she had been brutally raped, got pregnant and had a baby. Then she killed it and buried it in the woods near Berlin.

Stangl wanted to do something to help women in such desperate situations. So the following year, she convinced Berlin's Waldfriede Hospital to create the city's first so-called "baby box." The box is actually a warm incubator that can be opened from an outside wall of a hospital where a desperate parent can anonymously leave an unwanted infant.

A small flap opens into the box, equipped with a motion detector. An alarm goes off in the hospital to alert staff two minutes after a baby is left.

"The mother has enough time to leave without anyone seeing her," Stangl said. "The important thing is that her baby is now in a safe place."

Baby boxes are a revival of the medieval "foundling wheels," where unwanted infants were left in revolving church doors. In recent years, there has been an increase in these contraptions — also called hatches, windows or slots in some countries — and at least 11 European nations now have them, according to United Nations figures. They are technically illegal, but mostly operate in a gray zone as authorities turn a blind eye.

 

But they have drawn the attention of human rights advocates who think they are bad for the children and merely avoid dealing with the problems that lead to child abandonment. At a meeting last month, the United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child said baby boxes should be banned and is pushing that agenda to the European Parliament.

There are nearly 100 baby boxes in Germany. Poland and the Czech Republic each have more than 40 while Italy, Lithuania, Russia and Slovakia have about 10 each. There are two in Switzerland, one in Belgium and one being planned in the Netherlands.

In the last decade, hundreds of babies have been abandoned this way; it's estimated one or two infants are typically left at each location every year, though exact figures aren't available.

"They are a bad message for society," said Maria Herczog, a Hungarian child psychologist on the U.N. committee. "These boxes violate children's rights and also the rights of parents to get help from the state to raise their families," she said.

"Instead of providing help and addressing some of the social problems and poverty behind these situations, we're telling people they can just leave their baby and run away."

She said the practice encourages women to have children without getting medical care. "It's paradoxical that it's OK for women to give up their babies by putting them in a box, but if they were to have them in a hospital and walk away, that's a crime," Herczog said. She said the committee is now discussing the issue with the European Parliament and is also asking countries which allow the practice to shut them down.

Herczog also said it's wrong to assume only mothers are abandoning these children and that sometimes they may be forced into giving up children they might otherwise have kept. "We have data to show that in some cases it's pimps, a male relative or someone who's exploiting the woman," she said.

In some countries — Australia, Canada and Britain — it is illegal to abandon an infant anywhere. Yet, in the U.S. there are "safe haven" laws that allow parents to anonymously give up an infant in a secure place like a hospital or police department. A handful of other countries including Japan and Slovakia have similar provisions.

Countries that support this anonymous abandonment method contend they save lives. In a letter responding to U.N. concerns, more than two dozen Czech politicians said they "strongly disagreed" with the proposed ban. "The primary aim of baby hatches, which (have) already saved hundreds of newborns, is to protect their right to life and protect their human rights," the letter said.

However, limited academic surveys suggest this hasn't reduced the murder of infants. There are about 30 to 60 infanticides in Germany every year, a number that has been relatively unchanged for years, even after the arrival of baby boxes. That's similar to the per capita rate in Britain where there is no such option.

Across Germany, there is considerable public support for the boxes, particularly after several high-profile cases of infanticide, including the grisly discovery several years ago of the decomposed remains of nine infants stuffed into flower pots in Brandenburg.

Officials at several facilities with baby boxes say biological parents sometimes name the infant being abandoned. "The girl is called Sarah," read one note left with a baby in Lubeck, Germany in 2003. "I have many problems and a life with Sarah is just not possible," the letter said.

The secretive nature also means few restrictions on who gets dropped off, even though the boxes are intended for newborns. Friederike Garbe, who oversees a baby box in Lubeck, found two young boys crying there last November. "One was about four months old and his brother was already sitting up," she said. The older boy was about 15 months old and could say "Mama."

Still, Germany's health ministry is considering other options. "We want to replace the necessity for the baby boxes by implementing a rule to allow women to give birth anonymously that will allow them to give up the child for adoption," said Christopher Steegmans, a ministry spokesman.

Austria, France, and Italy allow women to give birth anonymously and leave the baby in the hospital to be adopted. Germany and Britain sometimes allow this under certain circumstances even though it is technically illegal. Eleven other nations grant women a "concealed delivery" that hides their identities when they give birth to their babies, who are then given up for adoption. But the women are supposed to leave their name and contact information for official records that may be given one day to the children if they request it after age 18.

For German couple Andy and Astrid, an abandoned infant in a baby box near the city of Fulda ended their two-year wait to adopt a child nearly a decade ago.

"We were told about him on a Sunday and then visited him the next day in the hospital," said Astrid, a 37-year-old teacher, who along with her husband, agreed to talk with The Associated Press if their last names were not used to protect the identity of their child. The couple quietly snapped a few photos of the baby boy they later named Jan. He weighed just over 7 pounds when he was placed in the baby box, wrapped in two small towels.

When Jan started asking questions about where he came from around age 2, his parents explained another woman had given birth to him. They showed him the photos taken at the hospital, introduced him to the nurses there and showed him the baby box where he had been left.

Earlier this year, the couple began the procedure to adopt a second child, a boy whose mother gave birth anonymously so she could give him up for adoption.

Astrid said Jan, now 8, loves football, tractors and anything to do with the farming that he sees daily in their rural community. She said it's not so important for her and her husband to know who his biological parents are.

But for Jan, "it would be nice to know that he could meet them if he wanted to," she said. "I want that for him, but there is no possibility to find out who they were." ( Associated Press )

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Women Regret Love Failures More than Men

Women Regret Love Failures More than Men - While the common adage may encourage you not to dwell on the past, a new study finds that many harbor regrets, with romantic ones being particularly common.

But women outdid men in that category, with guys ranking work regrets above relationship ones, the researchers say.

The study involved 370 Americans who were asked to discuss a significant regret from their lives. The most common regrets had to do with romance, family, education, career and finance.

"Regret is a common part of our lives, and it's something that we see ... in people of all walks of life," said study researcher Neal Roese, a professor of marketing at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University.

But he said that regret could also be beneficial.

"The bad is obvious, but the good is it helps us put our lives together, helping us to put things into perspective," said Roese. With romantic regrets, he said, "It helps to recognize ideals and goals. ...You can channel it into a current relationship. You may see some kernel of insight you can implement in your current life."

Studying regret

Much of the research on regret is based on tests of college students, who are relatively inexpensive to compensate, simple to recruit and live on or near the campuses where the studies are done. In an attempt to get a better handle on regrets among the general public, this survey was done via phone to reach more diverse subjects.

Roese said that one finding in the current study that differed from past research was that romance, rather than education, was a primary source of regret.
However, he noted that there was a split. Nearly 45 percent of women expressed regret in the area of love, while less than 20 percent of men did. Meanwhile, nearly 35 percent of men expressed work regrets, compared with less than 30 percent of women.

"It does conform to a certain stereotype that we have, but it has been thought of for a long time that women are the keepers of relationships," said Roese. "That is an important element of their lives, and it makes sense that their regret would focus on failures to meet those ideals."

But the choice in what to discuss may have been impacted by the study method.

"There's a general idea in research that women are more concerned with social relationships than men are. Men are more concerned with career and self-advancement," said Joachim Krueger, a professor of psychology at Brown University who has researched gender stereotypes, and was not involved in the current study.

Since the survey was done by phone and not in-person where participants might have opened up more, women may have felt a greater need to conform to societal expectations.

"There's nothing in this study that would allow us to unpack that, and that's a pity," said Krueger. "There's nothing to say if this is how people feel ... or an opportunity to present themselves as reasonable and dutifully moral."

Missed opportunities

Overall, there was little difference in whether people regretted inaction versus action. The major distinction had to do with time.

"Missed opportunities stick in our brains longer, and they bug us for a longer period of time," Roese said. "Whereas something you did do, you are bugged by that immediately, and then it dissipates, or goes away. You're more able to make peace with it than a missed opportunity."

Krueger said that may involve the fact that the time to make up for a missed opportunity diminishes as a person ages (and thus gets closer to death).

"As people grow older, there's just a greater accumulation of opportunities that are gone," he said. "Younger people still have the illusion there's time left and they can fix things."

The study, co-authored by Roese and Mike Morrison, a doctoral candidate in psychology at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign will be published in a forthcoming issue of the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science. ( LiveScience.com )

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Green fashion

Green fashion - This world was once a decent place for all creatures to live. But the industrial revolution has drove to use more machines and increased the amount of greenhouse gases that lead to global warming.

Today, we are bearing the brunt. The earth is warmer now than ever before, flooding is more severe, there are more incidences of freak weather and more outbreaks of unknown diseases.

If it is so bad today, what will happen a hundred years from now?

Young designers at LaSalle College International Jakarta pondered this existential question and used it as inspiration for their latest work, showcased in a multimedia fashion show called “Genesis”, held on July 23 at Plaza Bapindo in South Jakarta.

Genesis combined emerging talents from the worlds of design, fashion, multimedia, computer graphics, photography and makeup.

The fashion show had the air of a documentary film, combining a green campaign with the beauty of fashion.

The six-part show opened with a multimedia presentation about a fictional alien life form in the “Green Galaxy”. Planets in this galaxy were soon imperiled by hostile conditions.

After the brief introduction, a green army invaded the runway. Models clad in faux-military fatigues that featured the innovative designs of participating students.

A dark green sleeveless jacket was paired with light green shorts and green boots. Other models donned a black bustier with chains paired with military pants. Another creation was a brown top with tartan cape and army green dress.

Respirators, toy guns, gloves and goggles were added to give a powerful military look.

After the green army retreated, the second session started with the theme of “Black Sun”.

It was all doom and gloom, when models dressed in black attire strutted on stage. These students’ take on the apocalypse was inspired by punk rock-style ripped jeans and torn tees, leather boots and Gothic makeup.

A loud gasp, followed by an enthusiastic cheers was heard when a male model appeared on the stage in a jaw-dropping asymmetric outfit combining of black and gold pants with a big stuffy accent on the right side and black platform boots.

No less bold was a mermaid dress paired with a bling-inflected bikini and fur details on the bottom of the dress.

Another creation was a black, one-shoulder ballerina dress adorned with a smallish cute teddy bear attached to the side at the waist. Some models wore eye patches and masks, giving a more dramatic feel to the scene.

The somber atmosphere turned cheerful after the stereo blared Jay Z’s Empire State of Mind, heralding the third episode called “Metropolis”, which featured fashionable people living in the metropolis of an alien planet.

Simplicity was the theme, and models donned humble ready-to-wear clothes.

Black and white, flower power and tartan motifs, red cross symbols and earthy colors were the highlights of this episode.

Next in line was “Global Village”, where the young designers displayed futuristic creations. Audiences got to see more shocking colors with some touches of ethnicity — from the Japanese obi, Jodhpur pants and Grecian dresses.

After the last hurrah of the Global Village, the fictional alien planets met their demise from exposure to the sun. What came next was the “New Ice Age”. For some reasons, the alien planet turned cold and this affected how people dressed.

The episode was dominated by “cold” colors such as white, blue and gray.

Then we got to the final stage called “Better World”, during which designers reflected on the happiness and joy on the planets as conditions in the galaxy improved.

The designs were rich in colors with more details added in the form of patchworks and printed motifs.

The creations also represented the aspiration of students for a better world and better future. ( thejakartapost.com )

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My Baby Died So That I Could Live

My Baby Died So That I Could Live - Twenty years ago, Isabel Walker lost her baby boy when she developed pre-eclampsia. She asks if new research brings us any closer to curing this deadly condition.

Nicola Bandy and I have something in common. Over 20 years ago, I lost my first baby, Benji, when he had to be delivered three months early to save my life. I had developed pre-eclampsia, a potentially dangerous complication of pregnancy. Benji died two days after his birth.

I recall not only the grief, but my bewilderment that, with all the advances of modern medicine, there was no way to control this condition other than by delivering my baby early and effectively ending his life, to save mine. Pre-eclampsia happens when the placenta, the organ that transports food and oxygen from the mother’s blood supply to the baby, fails to grow as it should. At present, the only “cure” remains delivery. Later, when contemplating a second pregnancy, I was dismayed to learn that there was no way to predict whether I would get pre-eclampsia again and no way to stop it happening.

Isabel Walker, who has suffered from pre-eclampsia and lost a baby 20 years ago and is now campaigning to raise awareness of the condition

Nicola has had pre-eclampsia too, but more recently. Six months into her first pregnancy, the first sign was when her feet and then her hands and face, swelled up to spectacular proportions: her feet, she says, were “like balloons”. She also she started to put on weight alarmingly fast. At 38 weeks, with her blood pressure rising, she underwent an emergency Caesarean. Her baby, Seth survived and is now 16 months.

But Nicola, who is 37, remains traumatised by what happened. Like me more than two decades ago, she finds the idea of another pregnancy frightening. 'I’m still struggling with the idea that I or my baby could have died,’ she says. 'I would love to give Seth a little brother or sister but the way I feel now I would be much too scared to try again.’

Why Nicola’s pregnancy had a happier outcome than mine is a mystery. In all likelihood I had a more severe, fast-moving form of the disease that left no room for the standard policy with pre-eclampsia – to watch, wait and deliver the baby when essential but as late as possible. Certainly, the difference has nothing to do with any progress in the treatment of pre-eclampsia: in the years between our two experiences, little has changed in this respect.

I was fortunate to go on to have two successful pregnancies and my children (Joe, 22, a father himself, and Mimi, 21, currently doing an MA in music ) are now adults. But my experience left me with a lasting interest in pre-eclampsia and a passion to support research into the prevention and treatment of this mystery condition, which still kills about 6 women in the UK every year. I’ve watched as research has produced numerous false dawns, with one potential panacea after another – including aspirin, calcium, vitamins C and E, magnesium and fish oils – showing initial promise but ultimately shown to be useless or (in the case of low-dose aspirin) of limited benefit.

But now it seems that progress in being made on several fronts. Experts are confident that within a decade it will be possible to accurately identify women at risk of this frightening condition, with screening available in early pregnancy. At the same time scientists are moving closer to understanding the causes of pre-eclampsia, which could open the door to more effective treatment - and even to prevention.

At the moment the underlying cause of pre-eclampsia is unknown. Most common in the last few weeks of pregnancy, it is thought to start with a defect in the placenta. As a result, the baby may suffer growth problems and the mother high blood pressure. As it gets worse, pre-eclampsia can cause kidney and other organ damage in the mother and starvation and oxygen deprivation in the baby.

Many women don’t realise they have it until it reaches a late and dangerous stage – which is why ante-natal clinics routinely carry out checks on blood pressure and urine, aimed to pick up early signs. It cannot be prevented and the only medical response is delivery – sometimes at the expense of babies, like Benji, who are too premature to survive. In the UK alone, pre-eclampsia leads to 5-600 deaths of babies every year.

Until now, it’s been hard to predict which women are at risk of pre-eclampsia. But new research offers hope that a blood test could become available within a few years. The study, involving 2,000 women, published in the journal Hypertension, found that high levels of a combination of 14 chemicals (called metabolites) in the blood of women tested at around 15 weeks of pregnancy could accurately predict the development of pre-eclampsia later.

The discovery of this particular 'metabolic signature’ opens the door for a screening test for pre-eclampsia that would be more accurate than current screening for Down’s syndrome, according to researchers. This will mean closer monitoring, earlier intervention and safer outcomes for mothers and babies.

Stephen Robson, Professor of Fetal Medicine at Newcastle University, who is planning a larger study, is enthusiastic about the prospects for screening, although he also warns it is at least five years away. “People tend to think there is no point in screening unless you also have a magic bullet that can prevent the disease” he says. “But what we can do here is transform the whole pattern of antenatal care to separate high risk from low risk women and streamline care accordingly.”

This year also saw a breakthrough in understanding the causes of maternal high blood pressure, which is usually the first sign of pre-eclampsia. Scientists from Cambridge University reported in the journal Nature that women with pre-eclampsia have high blood levels of a certain protein called angiotensinogen. This protein triggers the release of hormones called angiotensins, which cause blood vessels to constrict, so raising pressure. Understanding this process offers “real hope for developing strategies to prevent or treat this dangerous condition” according to Professor Peter Weissberg, Medical Director of the British Heart Foundation, which funded the study.

It’s important, though, to sound a note of caution about the Cambridge findings on blood pressure – although important, these have been talked up in the media as scientists finding the cause of pre-eclampsia. But, in fact, high blood pressure is simply one of a number of outward signs of pre-eclampsia, not the cause. Preventing or treating this outward sign may not halt progression of the underlying disease.

So although things all looks promising, specialists are still wary about talk of immediate “breakthroughs”. Professor Chris Redman, formerly of the Nuffield Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at Oxford University and an international authority on pre-eclampsia, describes the prospect of screening as 'only half a step forward – the other half being something that could stop pre-eclampsia in its tracks’. He also believes pre-eclampsia will never be totally preventable since he regards it as 'a hotch-potch of different kinds of problems that come together with the same appearance’.

The fundamental research question about pre-eclampsia remains: what happens inside a woman’s body to transform a healthy pregnancy into a time bomb that can threaten her own life and that of her unborn child?

Until this question is answered, ideas about prevention will be based to a considerable extent on guesswork. And women like me and Nicola Bandy, nurtured on the modern mantra that 'pregnancy is not an illness’, will continue to find, to their cost, that it can be just that. ( telegraph.co.uk )

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Sex Abuse Scandal in US, Italy Taints Papacy

Sex Abuse Scandal in US, Italy Taints Papacy – Revelations that the Vatican halted the investigation of a Wisconsin priest accused of molesting some 200 deaf boys have eerie echoes in Italy, where 67 deaf men and women accused two dozen priests of raping and molesting children for years.

Only now — a year after the Italian case became public — is the Vatican directing the diocese to interview the victims to hear their testimony about the accusations, The Associated Press learned Thursday.

The two cases are the latest in a burgeoning abuse scandal on both sides of the Atlantic that now threatens to tarnish the papacy itself. The office charged with disciplining clergy was long led by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict XVI, and a church prosecution in the Wisconsin case was stopped after an appeal to Ratzinger.

The Vatican strongly defended Benedict on Thursday and denounced what it said was a concerted campaign to smear him and his aides for a problem that Rome insists is not unique to the Catholic Church.

AP

Members of the SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priest) , display a photo of Pope Benedict XVI when he was cardinal during a press conference in front of The Vatican Thursday, March 25, 2010.

Benedict's actions have been marked by "transparency, firmness and severity in shedding light on the various cases of sexual abuse committed by priests and clergymen," the Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano said in a front-page article.

It lashed out at what it said was a "prevailing trend in the media" to ignore facts and spread an image of the Catholic Church "as if it were the only one responsible for sexual abuses — an image that does not correspond to reality."

The Vatican was responding to the release of documents, first reported by The New York Times, that showed how the pope's former office told a Wisconsin bishop to shut down a church trial against the Rev. Lawrence Murphy, a Milwaukee priest accused of molesting some 200 deaf boys from 1950 to 1975.

Murphy died in 1998, two years after Ratzinger first learned of the accusations, and more than 20 years after they came to the attention of the Milwaukee diocese.

While the Vatican has not directly addressed the Italian abuse case, first reported as part of an AP investigation last September, it bears marked similarities to the allegations brought in Wisconsin.

Both involve some of society's most vulnerable: deaf children for whom the admonition "never tell" is easy to enforce because they have difficulty communicating. And in both, the major priority of church officials grappling with how or whether to discipline accused predators appeared to be protecting the church from scandal.

In a signed statement last year, the 67 former pupils at a school for the deaf in Verona described sexual abuse, pedophilia and corporal punishment from the 1950s to the 1980s. They named 24 priests, brothers and lay religious men at the Antonio Provolo Institute for the Deaf.

While not all acknowledged being victims, 14 of the 67 wrote sworn statements and made videotapes, detailing abuse, some for years, at the hands of priests and brothers of the Congregation for the Company of Mary. One victim, Alessandro Vantini, told the AP last year that priests sodomized him so relentlessly he came to feel "as if I were dead."

"How could I tell my papa that a priest had sex with me?" Vantini, 59, said through a sign-language interpreter. "You couldn't tell your parents because the priests would beat you."

The bishop of Verona, Monsignor Giuseppe Zenti, initially accused the former students of lying. However, after one of the accused lay religious men admitted to sexual relations with students, the bishop ordered an internal investigation. It found some abuse occurred, albeit a fraction of what had been alleged.

Advocates for the victims, however, said the diocese investigation was fatally flawed because no one interviewed the former students. Last summer, the diocese forwarded its files to the Vatican office that prosecutes sex crimes by clergy, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. It was headed for years by Ratzinger, who issued a 2001 directive that requires bishops to report suspected clerical abuse cases to the Vatican, but makes no mention of calling police.

The Vatican studied the file but took no action until Feb. 15, when Cardinal William Levada instructed Zenti to interview the former students to determine if any action should be taken against the priests, diocesan spokesman the Rev. Bruno Fasani told the AP.

In his letter to the Verona church authorities, Levada said Ratzinger's old office, which he now heads, had reviewed the files about the alleged abuse and "considers it opportune to proceed" with interviews of the former students.

Fasani said the diocese maintained that it did not interview the alleged victims because they never made a formal complaint to the bishop. The diocese also said it didn't know how to contact them, even though they are all members of a Verona deaf association with ties to the church-run school.

Marco Lodi Rizzini, a spokesman for the accusers, scoffed at the suggestion that the diocese didn't know how to reach the former students. He said he spoke with Zenti twice about the accusations and sent the victims' testimonies about the abuse to the diocese last year.

He said the former students were more than happy to speak to investigators. "Better late than never."

Fasani said the diocese was now forming a team to conduct the interviews after receiving instructions from Levada.

"This is a shameful thing. We never received a formal complaint," he insisted. "It was never formally presented to us."

Vantini and other alleged Verona victims are due to appear on state-run RAI television on Friday to tell their stories. ( kompas.com )

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How do parents get mad enough to beat their kids?

How do parents get mad enough to beat their kids? . One thing I wasn't prepared for when I became a parent was how hard it is to discipline kids if you're a person who is slow to anger.

I could never be a child abuser, because kids just don't make me that mad. That also means I'm not a great disciplinarian, because I find it difficult to care very much about things like wire hangers.

In some families, a mother who lacks that school-marm instinct is balanced out by a dad who is scary. Or vice versa. In our household, both parents are laid back.

I find myself having to fake it quite a bit, and wondering how other parents find their anger so naturally.

When I'm in a great mood, and the phone rings, and it's one of my kids' teachers saying my child is talking too much in class, I know the expectation is that I'm supposed to go from copacetic to irate in two seconds flat. I wait two seconds, but I'm still in a good mood. So I sternly say something like, "Well, there will be consequences for him when he gets home!'' And that makes the teacher happy.

I found a helpful column about the seven signs of laid-back parenting, which I'll post on the jump. It's frightening, really.

Life would be so much easier if I had a deep well of Parent Anger to tap into, like my own parents did.

David Riel of Helium.com offers these "Seven Warning Signs of Laid-Back Parenting"

• 1. You don't know where your child is right now. Could you tell someone where your children are right now, without having to look into it? You should be able to. The questions are going to get harder.

• 2. You can't name three of your child's friends. So if you have three kids, that's nine names. If you can't do it, ask yourself why not.

• 3. You don't know the names of each of your child's teachers. Unless it's summer holidays, you get a failing grade.

• 4. You don't know what time your child left the house this morning. If you don't know this, and your child left the house before you did, mark this answer wrong.

• 5. You don't know what time your child went to bed last night. You fail this one whether you were home or not, if you don't know the answer.

• 6. You don't know what your child had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner yesterday. There will be things your child may have eaten without your knowledge,but you should know what your child had at each of these meals.

• 7. You don't know what your child wants to be when he or she grows up. If you can't recite your child's hopes, goals and dreams without having to ask, you get this one wrong.

As I have always said, it's very easy to be your child's friend. It's much tougher being your child's parent. ...( blogs.trb.com )

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Good sex everyday, keeps doctors away

Good sex everyday, keeps doctors away. You would have never thought that a kiss could help keeping dental worries at bay or a gratifying sexual act at night make you feel fit and fresh the next morning. But that's what studies across the web claim.

Healthy sex leads to a healthy life. You may have tried copious measures to get that extra glowing skin and shiny hair. You must have also worked out rigorously to achieve that perfect ten figure you've desired. But the key to your mind and heart is fulfilling sex. Even for those who lose their temper or are always in a depressed state of mind, 'sex' can be the solution.

A happy sexual life with your partner not only gets you in shape with better skin texture and silken tresses, it also burns extra calories, keeps you fit, combats asthma, relieves headache, reduces depression and tranquilises your mind. From make-up experts, hair stylists, sexologists and fitness connoisseurs – there's a common consensus that a vigourous sexual life leads to a healthy life – both physically and emotionally. We get them share more on this...

There have been several notions stating that 'sex' produces certain hormones that bring happiness, which lead to a fit body and a healthy mind. Shedding some light on this, Dr. Sanjay Chugh, specialist on sexual issues, states, "Sex contributes to general good health. Any sexual intimacy that is enjoyable and pleasurable promotes well being by providing several physical and psychological benefits. It is believed that sex boosts chemicals in the body that protects us against diseases. Research also suggests that sex and masturbation can help ease joint and muscle pain, combat depression, promote heart health and lengthen one's life span."

Dr. Samir Parikh, clinical physiatrist adds, "The basic fact is that a good sex life also means in a larger picture, a good relationship with one's partner and this makes the partner happier, less stressed and by virtue of that physically healthier."

Not just this, sex also accelerates blood circulation and one's basic metabolic rate, which further enhances the well-being of our mind and soul and helps us calm down.

On these emotional benefits, Dr Chugh adds, "A satisfying sexual relationship strengthens the bond between couples, making them feel secure and loved. The feeling of emotional connectedness adds to ones sense of belonging, which in totality helps them achieve a positive physical, psychological and spiritual state that is necessary for one's general health."

Elaborating further, on a scientific angle, Dr Avdesh Sharma, a consultant psychiatrist, and an expert on relationship issues shares, "Sex is a way of bonding at the physical, mental and emotional level and leads to health (including psychological) benefits. If it is used as a mechanical process, it may have limited benefits. There are physiological benefits of positive changes in parameters like pulse, heart rate, reduction in blood pressure (after an increase in B.P. specially if vigourous sex is tried), dilation of blood vessels and capillaries of the skin, leading to a 'glow', burning of a few calories (depending on the duration of the act and vigour), exercising of some of the muscles, thus improving lung capacity (during heavy breathing)."

However, we also need to understand that sexual acts work more in terms of improving resistance, but are not a safe guard or a treatment to illnesses. Any sexual act can neither be used as a treatment nor would it change your stresses of life, which one would need to resolve irrespective.

"The extra edge of sex may be due to the feeling of being wanted, an expression of emotions and certain hormonal and physiological changes that happen as an expression of love for another individual. Unfortunately, the benefits of sexuality are usually quoted out of context and people may look at this as a panacea for everything. But sexuality without emotions have limited value," concludes Dr Avdesh Sharma.

Here are some lesser known fun facts about sex.

Have sex stay fit :

Sex may seem like the safest sport you can take up. It de-stresses you, keeps you rejuvenated, elevates your moods and stretchs, tones and exercises your body muscles.

Expert opinion : Dr Ishi Khosla, clinical nutritionist, Director Whole Foods asserts, "Sexual acts certainly lead to a normal mental well-being and a healthy state of mind. This in turn creates a physically fit body. If there's an ill-health or manifestation of any problem, it would reflect on your outer body."

Dr Samir Parikh adds, "You would still need a balanced lifestyle, which means that if you compare two equals in terms of lifestyle age and other factors as a constant, then it's possible that a sexually active person feels better."

Sex burns extra calories :

It is indeed a form of exercise and naturally burns one's calories too.

Expert Opinion : Dr Geetu Amarnani, wellness expert at Kolmet Hospital, opines, "While having sex, the BMP (basic metabolic rate) increases and that ultimately helps in burning the calories, so it's widely believed that one can shed that extra flab through sexual encounters."

Sex for glowing skin and hair :

When women make love they produce the hormone oestrogen which makes their hair shine and their skin smooth.

Expert Opinion : Make-up expert Sylvie, also an expert on sexual issues asserts, "As sex helps releasing the extra level of frustration and stress on one's mind and body, so logically it leads to a glow on your face and your skin texture looks better too. Also, hormones in our body are activated at a faster rate than usual during sex, which helps in better blood circulation, adding that extra shine to one's skin and hair."

Sex brings relief from headaches, reduces depression and tranquilises your mind :

A satisfying love-making session releases tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain. It brings you out of a depressed state of mind and acts as a tranquilliser.

Expert Opinion : Dr Sanjay Chugh, "The pleasure that is derived from a satisfying sexual act tends to relax one's mind, taking away headache. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being. Good sex leaves the person feeling relaxed and satisfied thus acting like a tranquiliser."

A kiss to keep dental problems at bay :

It is medically accepted that a kiss encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay. It also prevents the build-up of plaque.

Expert Opinion : Dental expert, Dr. Vandana Jyoti opines, “Anything that increases salivation will help in bringing down the acid level, which causes damage to one’s teeth. It also prevents cavity. Other than a kiss, chewing gum and more of lemon intake also tend to act in the same manner. But one has to be extra careful, as it might act the other way round, in terms of spreading germs, if either of the two persons involved in a kiss is suffering from a tooth infection. ( indiatimes.com )

READ MORE - Good sex everyday, keeps doctors away

Turning Job Hunting Into 'Job Getting'

Turning Job Hunting Into 'Job Getting'. Often, when job seekers come across job ads that interest them, they immediately submit their résumés and cover letters to the employers. Then they wait, wondering if their submission will develop into an interview opportunity or if it will slip into a black hole and never resurface again.

Unfortunately, this process is one of the least effective ways to achieve momentum in the job search, says Richard Deems, Ph.D., co-author of "Make Job Loss Work for You."

Instead, he encourages individuals to work through his five-step Deems JobGetting Skills^TM System to ensure their job hunting progresses into job getting.

"This system takes an entirely different approach from what job seekers may have been taught in the past," Deems says. "It starts with a simple difference: Before applying for a position, job seekers should find out as much as they can about the position to see if they're interested in doing what needs to be done. Of course, people who do this won't apply for as many positions as does the typical job hunter. But then, why should they waste time and energy on something they don't really want in the first place?"

Below are the five steps Deems says job seekers must take to achieve success, no matter what level position, occupation or industry they are targeting.

Step one: Research the position

"When you hear of a position that interests you, contact the person who has the authority to hire you," Deems says. "That's really the only person you want to get in front of. You tell that person that you understand he or she may have a position open, and if so, you'd like to talk about their needs in detail."

If the job ad fails to name the appropriate person to reach out to, job seekers can call the company directly, look at the company's Web site or browse articles and blog posts on the Internet about the employer.

Deems says job seekers' goals in this step should be to:

• Get their name to the decision maker.
• Learn more about the position than other candidates will know.
• Decide whether this is a position they want to pursue.

Step two: Research the organization

Before they apply for a position, job seekers should know a great deal of information, including the organization's history, products or services, past mergers or acquisitions, locations, environment and key leaders.

To gather this information, Deems suggests that job seekers:

• Ask the decision maker to send them a copy of the annual report or other pertinent material about the company (if it's not available online).
• Use the Internet to research the organization. Visit Web sites such as the company's press room, investor relations links and blogs.
• Use their network (both offline and online) to find someone already in the company. Ask that person what he thinks of the company -- pros and cons.

Step three: Evaluate your strengths and interests

"After you've explored the position and the company, you need to stop, evaluate and make a decision," Deems says. "Does the job call for what you do best and most enjoy doing? Will the workplace environment enable you to be your best? Do you want the job or not? One way to evaluate the position is to chart it out, listing your criteria for selecting the position and how this opportunity fits your criteria."

Step four: Design your positioning strategy

Next, job seekers should contact the key decision maker in the hiring process and let that individual know they want to be considered the top candidate. Then, job seekers should ask what they need to do to make that happen.

Often, the decision maker will simply ask to see the job seeker's résumé, but job seekers can do more to ensure they stand out from other candidates, Deems says.

"Your positioning plan needs to go beyond the résumé. You need to do things that will keep your name in front of the decision maker, even as that person is reviewing other résumés. To do this, you might need to follow up on your résumé, ask someone in your network to make a call on your behalf and so on. Also, take time to write down what steps you need to take," he explains.

Step five: Implement

Deems says job seekers should do three things when they're ready to implement their positioning plan. They are:

• Assemble your application package according to the instructions of the person who has the authority to hire you.
• Deliver your package in person, if possible. If you cannot deliver your application in person, send it via e-mail or regular mail -- or both.
• Follow up. Wait two or three days for the employer to receive your application package; then call to ensure it was received. At that time, have questions prepared to ask the hiring contact and also try to arrange a time to sit down and talk with him or her in person.

Some of these steps may intimidate job seekers at first, but it's a proactive and effective way to achieve results in the job hunt. "The candidates who are out on the streets meeting and talking with people are the ones who maintain their energy and confidence," Deems says. "Those who sit back at home and merely mail out their résumés are often those who get discouraged. Sure, they'll eventually get hired. But the process is likely to drag on much longer than it needs to, and the position may be less satisfying than it could be." ( msn.com )

READ MORE - Turning Job Hunting Into 'Job Getting'

Four Ways to Get Hired Faster

Four Ways to Get Hired Faster. The difference between being proactive and reactive is time. Reactive people wait for things to happen to them, while proactive people go out and make things happen.

Timing is key in any career move, so it is up to you to make things happen. Be proactive and professional, and you will find yourself in the mix come decision time.

A typical hiring process takes anywhere from three to eight weeks, depending on the policies of the company and the scheduling that must take place to get all of the decision-makers aligned. A key to keeping to the shorter end of this three to eight week time frame is to have a thorough picture of the company's hiring process.

If you are working with a recruiter, get the details from him or her. If you are going it alone, ask the following questions during the initial telephone interview: "When do you need this position filled?" "Can you describe for me your last successful hire?" "What is the process and time between each step, so I can get a clear picture of what to expect going forward?" Once you are aware of the process, you can set your expectations accordingly. If you want the job, you must be certain they know it.

Let's explore four sure-fire ways to move a hiring process forward as quickly as the company will allow:

1. Provide detailed information & professional references up front.

Supply all required information.

Be aware of the common candidate red flags and answer the questions before they're asked.

Have three to five professional references up front to validate your background and experience.

Whenever possible, provide a recent manager, peer and subordinate to give the most complete picture of your abilities to the new company.

2. Attitude is everything.

Bring a positive, high energy attitude on every interview. There is no room for a negative presence in an organization. Once you have given that impression, it most likely will not go away.

Be positive and proactive, and close each step of the process with enthusiasm. "I'm very interested in learning more about this exciting opportunity. What's the next step?"

3. Research the company & prepare for the interview.

Get your facts and figures straight. Nothing is more impressive than knowing the inner workings, products, people, mission, vision and goals of an organization.

Realize that your interviewing skills and your ability to perform the job are two very different things. You'll need both to get the offer.

Write out questions that you need answers to before accepting an offer.

Role-play your responses to standard and behavioral-based interview questions.

Thoroughly review the company's Web site and any recent articles written by its leaders.

4. Immediate, professional follow up.

Be certain they know you're interested. As soon as it is possible, send a handwritten thank-you note and a personalized e-mail message to every person with whom you interviewed.

The written word has somehow gotten lost in the electronic age. Differentiate yourself and send a note card in the mail either that same day or the next day.

Avoid a "cookie-cutter" e-mail, and take the time to personalize each message to the team that interviewed you. ( msn.com )

READ MORE - Four Ways to Get Hired Faster

How to Network Without Being Phony, Lame or Desperate

How to Network Without Being Phony, Lame or Desperate. Let's face it: Even when you're on top of the world, chances are good that the idea of networking sounds like a big, fat drag. You can probably think of 100 other things you'd rather do -- like cleaning the blades of your ceiling fan. But if you're one of the 14.9 million people who are competing for what seems to be a handful of jobs, your confidence has probably taken a hit. So now is probably not the time to be meeting anyone new. In fact, now is not the time to get out of your pajamas.

Ah, but it is. Networking is the single most valuable thing you can do with all this free time you have now. It will help you build the relationships that will stay with you for the rest of your career. You will learn more about your profession, industry and community. It will protect you from becoming an out-of-touch doofus. And, best of all, it will put you in front of people who have leads on jobs that haven't been published yet (the hidden job market). Through active networking, you could be the only candidate who is considered for that great job. Why? Because you got there first. Networking will do that for you. So while you change your clothes, change your mind about networking, too! Here's how:

Remember there's nothing phony, lame or desperate about being out of a job.

With so many people who have been laid off, people are expecting to hear from you and help you. Call them.

Change your mind about what you're networking for.

If you think that one meeting this afternoon is going to land you a job, you're going to sound desperate. Each meeting is a chance to tell your story about what you do and who would benefit from your talent. So try to relax and take each meeting as it comes. Some that you have high expectations for will turn out to be duds. Some that you think will be long-shots will be gold mines. You're networking not to land a job but to meet people, who will then introduce you to others, who will then introduce you to still others -- one of whom will one day say, "When can you start?"

Remember that it's not all about you.

You're meeting because the two of you have something in common (similar job title; shared interest in the profession, industry or community; the person works in a company that interests you). Focus on that commonality and explore possibilities that spring from that commonality. Truly listen to what that person is saying, don't just wait until his lips stop moving so you can start talking yourself.

Be yourself.

That is, be your best self. Don't be the self that wants to stay home in your pajamas, hugging a pint of Ben and Jerry's tight. Be the self who is at the top of your professional game, with a wealth of value to still deliver to the world, with a track record of successes that you still keep top of mind.

Tell your story without the usual job-search downers.

If your story tends to end with, "And then I got laid off," you might want to rewrite your script. Focus on your accomplishments and the fact that people noticed your potential throughout your career. Be real about how it is that you're between jobs right now, just like "a lot of really great people these days" (use those words). And then immediately ask your networking partner a question about the company, industry trends, anything that shows you're still a player in your field and ready to start contributing again.

Have a full calendar.

No networking meeting should ever be the last networking meeting you have scheduled. Always have something else (lots of something elses) lined up. No one wants to be anyone's last, best hope.

Have an agenda.

Many job seekers have only a vague notion of what to talk about in a networking meeting, so networking becomes synonymous with small talk. Small talk does not impress anybody unless you're looking for a hostess job. Spend two minutes talking about your background, 15-30 minutes talking about the jobs and employers on your target list, and the rest of the time talking current trends in the industry. Don't forget, like any good business meeting, end it on time. Don't dawdle. Don't linger. Don't ask for that second cup of coffee. Get out politely, but get out.

Thank your networking partner immediately afterward and confirm you'll stay in touch.

It's amazing how few people actually do this. Stand out! Send a note. Send an e-mail. Say thank you. And report on how you followed up on all that great advice you just got. Keep that person informed of your progress. If you do this, you'll continue to have a lively network of people who care about you and respect you for the rest of your career.

Pay it back.

You may be out of work, but you still have all your resources. Use them to help others in or out of the job search. ( msn.com )

READ MORE - How to Network Without Being Phony, Lame or Desperate

Use the Buddy System for Your Job Search

Use the Buddy System for Your Job Search. A lot of situations in life are easier when you have a friend at your side. Take, for example, losing weight. Many people who have tried for years to shed pounds are more successful once they start working with a friend. Programs like Weight Watchers have a support system to keep members going, offer words of encouragement and provide a nudge when the going gets rough.

Now imagine what a similar support network could do for your job search. Utilizing a "buddy system" where you and a friend team up to look for new jobs may yield similar success. Here are a few ideas to get your own buddy system started:

1. Find a friend in a similar situation.

You're probably not alone in your search for employment. Ask a friend or neighbor who is in a similar situation to team up with you. This will work best if you and your buddy are not vying for the same jobs, so seek out someone who is in a different field. Make sure you join forces with someone you can count on and who is equally motivated to get a job.

2. Set ground rules.

If you were training for a marathon together, you would sit down and come up with a training plan, decide on the number of days and distance you would run together, and hold each other accountable. You and your job search buddy need to do the same thing. Talk about your goals and what you expect from the other person. Schedule a weekly "check-in" to share ideas and report on your progress. Your partnership could also include sharing of leads and contacts. Keep an eye out for opportunities that the other person would be interested in.

3. Develop your plan of attack.

Next, figure out how the two of you will approach the search. Will you share and critique each other's résumés and cover letters? What about rehearsing interview questions? Consider attending job fairs together. Share online job search and company research results. Brainstorm contacts in your respective networks and swap names and information. Go shopping together for the perfect interview suit.

4. Tag team at networking events.

Networking events can be less intimidating and more manageable if you attend with a friend. Split up at events and agree to look out for the other person's interests as well as your own. Let's say, for example, that you are looking for a marketing position and your buddy is interested in graphic design. You are likely to find contacts for both at the same events, so agree to introduce each other and speak on each other's behalf.

5. Practice, share ideas and support each other in challenges.

One of the best things about searching with a buddy is having a confidante you can talk to. You and your buddy can grill each other before interviews, discuss company facts, and debrief after each screening and interview. You can remind one another to follow up on leads and send thank-you notes in a timely manner. You can also bounce ideas off each other like salary negotiation tactics and money-saving tips to keep expenses down while out of work. Your buddy can also offer a big shoulder if you don't get your dream job and need a consoling ear. There are many more things you and your buddy can help each other with, from critiquing your personal sales pitch to offering honest opinions on companies and offers. The bottom line is that two heads -- and groups of contacts -- are always better than one. Working with a buddy will double your resources and put another person in your corner to support you, no matter what. ( msn.com )

READ MORE - Use the Buddy System for Your Job Search

Ten Unusual Majors and the Jobs You Can Get With Them

Ten Unusual Majors and the Jobs You Can Get With Them Choosing your college major has never been so important. Although the economy may have turned around by the time you graduate, nothing is certain. You'll want to declare a major in something that you not only enjoy and that interests you, but also in something that will be come in handy when looking for a job.

While it's tempting to choose a broad major like engineering, English or communications, it behooves you to get creative; an uncommon degree could put you in a great position to find a job in an emerging, unique or specialized field.

Here are 10 uncommon (or overlooked) majors and the jobs you can get with them*:

1. Family and consumer sciences

A background in family and consumer sciences -- also known as home economics -- teaches students everything they need to know about what makes a "home." You'll become an expert in such areas as child development, family relations, consumer economics, personal finance, fashion design, housing and nutrition, which means you'll have plenty of options when it comes to starting your career.

Related careers: Teacher, health educator, financial adviser, education administrator

2. Linguistics

Linguistics majors study language -- its structure, how it's acquired, how people use it, its history, etc. As globalization continues as a trend in business, those with a linguistics background will become more valued in several fields.

Related careers: Anthropologists, archaeologists, computer scientists, interpreters, linguists, speech-language pathologists and audiologists, translators, marketers

3. Recreation management

Students who major in recreation management learn how to manage employees, plan and promote activities, create budgets and follow safety regulations when running recreational facilities. Most recreation management graduates work in parks, resorts, sporting facilities, camps, senior centers, theme parks and community facilities.

Related careers: Amusement and recreation attendants; lifeguards, ski patrol and other recreational protective services; recreation workers; coaches and umpires; park rangers

4. Food science

Food science majors study the biology and chemistry behind food. They learn the basics of producing, transporting and preparing food, and learn what it takes to get a safe food product to consumers.

Related careers: Agricultural and food scientists, flavor chemists, dietetic technicians, dietitians and nutritionists, industrial production managers

5. Packaging

If you're interested in a green career, this might be a good path to follow. Most things come with packaging for health and safety reasons, so it's not likely this major will go away any time soon. There are ways, however, to make packaging more functional and environmentally friendly, which is what packaging majors focus on.

Related careers: Sustainability engineers, industrial designers, agricultural and food scientists

6. Criminology

Are you able to solve the case during every episode of "Law & Order"? Then majoring in criminology might be for you. Criminology students study the psychology behind why people commit crimes, criminal profiles, crime prevention and the theories surrounding why crime exists.

Related careers: Clinical psychologists, correctional officers, government lawyers, correctional treatment specialists, research psychologists

7. Social work

Social work majors are usually people who want to help make the world and its inhabitants better. In this area of study, you'll learn about human psychology, learn how to counsel individuals and groups, and also learn about social services like welfare and subsidized housing.

Related careers: Child, family and school social workers; human service assistants; medical and public health social workers; mental health and substance abuse social workers; sociologists

8. Urban studies

Have you ever wondered why a certain area of your city is considered "middle-class" or "the slums"? As an urban studies major, you'll learn how neighborhoods develop -- and the stereotypes that go along with them. You'll also study what makes cities unique, find out how different areas respond to problems and events, how buildings and city layouts affect people, and much more.

Related careers: Urban and regional planners, community organizers and activists, public interest advocates

9. Natural resources

Another green college major. Natural resources majors learn how to protect and preserve natural resources and how to commercially use natural resources like oil, trees, water, animals and plants with the least environmental impact.

Related careers: Conservation scientists; environmental educators; environmental scientists; foresters and forestry technicians; park rangers; preserve managers

10. Gerontology

As the population continues to age, more research and resources are being put into studying aging. Gerontology majors learn about the biological, behavioral and social changes associated with aging, and can often put this knowledge to use in a career that involves working with seniors.

Related careers: Advanced-practice nurses, general practitioners, medical and health services managers, medical and public health social workers, mental health counselors, occupational therapists, physical therapists, public interest lawyers ( msn.com )

READ MORE - Ten Unusual Majors and the Jobs You Can Get With Them